Join the army; Meet interesting people; Kill them.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.