One in every four Americans has some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, than its you.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
"I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not." --Lucille Ball
Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Pride of nationality depends not on ignorance of other nations, but on ignorance of one's own.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
Careful. We don't want to learn from this. -- Calvin
Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
No problem is so big and complicated that it can't be ran away from.
Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hands.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
When all is said and done, much more is said than done.
There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
No Jesus, no peace; know Jesus know peace.
National Atheism Day: April 1st
Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.